daeneryus:

shutupaubrey:

princesschloepea:

life tip whatever dumb ass name you get siri to call you is what your iphone automatically signs your emails as. i have been applying to jobs for 2 months as queef.

image

#OH MY GOD OH GMY GOD OH MY GOD NO N ONO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOO #HOLY SHIT #I HAVE BEEN APPLYING TO JOBS AS ANAL DESTROYER

FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK

MINES MY STRIPPER NAME

(Source: princessblogonoke)

207,636 notes

doctorwholmes:

"In a world where love is forbidden" - the giver trailer

THAT IS NOT THE POINT OF THE GIVER

WHY ARE YOU CHANGING MY FAVORITE BOOK TO FIT YOUR ROMANCE-OBSESSED HOLLYWOOD MINDS

THIS MOVIE IS JUST A FUCKING TRAINWRECK

  • why is jonas 18 the point of him being 12 is that he…

3,610 notes

frickstiel:

theannieplanet:

brolinstolemyheart:

misha-in-the-tardis-at221b:

i’m waking up

to ash and dust

I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust

im breathing in the chemicals

image

(Source: iamafrayedknot)

510,949 notes

feeltheillinoise-:

EVERY FCUKING TIEM I CAN’T HANDLE THIS JOKE

(Source: dickbuttofficial)

331,769 notes

alsoartsistra:

rinpin:

devinchee:

the-writers-ramblings:

xveritaxx:

Hugh Jackman as Gaston in Beauty and the Beast on Broadwa

NO ONE STEALS BREAD LIKE GASTON

PAINTS EGGS LIKE GASTON

OR SLICES UP BAD GUYS WITH CLAWS LIKE GASTON

I tried not to reblog this but I couldn’t, not after you just made a Les Miserables, Rise of the Guardians and Wolverine reference.

68,677 notes

danfreakindavis:

timecourier:

danfreakindavis:

danfreakindavis:

someone help i just ate an entire watermelon and i just cut open a second one

update: i’m out of watermelon


make watermelon clothes

danfreakindavis:

timecourier:

danfreakindavis:

danfreakindavis:

someone help i just ate an entire watermelon and i just cut open a second one

update: i’m out of watermelon

make watermelon clothes

614,581 notes

lucithor:

Okay so this just happened on my dashboard and I personally think this is exactly his kind of humour 

lucithor:

Okay so this just happened on my dashboard and I personally think this is exactly his kind of humour 

46,993 notes

Anonymous said: What's the most illegal thing you ever did?

sephyerite:

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

No mercy.

58,774 notes